Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize