Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize