Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
