Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize