Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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