If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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