I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
