i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
