He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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