I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
