yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
