nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
