I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
its liver damage thursday
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
