Quick, to the slutcave!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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