She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
