Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
