I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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