My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
