very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
