first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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