Im at strip club and am horny
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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