i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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