This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
