i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
