he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
