I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
