I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
