So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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