the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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