from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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