just come out here and I will go home with you...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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