a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
