if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
