somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
