I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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