You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize