he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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