Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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