Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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