If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
