I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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