Just fell off a train. Bad.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm just crazy horny about you
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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