I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
