I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
