i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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