similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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