i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
