It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
