Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth

(330): View more from Ohio

well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.

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(248): View more from Michigan

That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.

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(309): View more from Illinois

We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.

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(310): View more from California

The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.

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