So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The feeling are messing with the penis
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize