WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
