I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
