So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
