Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
