im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
