Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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