Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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