he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
