I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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