The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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