I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
