And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's rum buckets o'clock
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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