I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize