I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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