I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
