id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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