dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
