Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize