dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
