so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
