Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
