Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
