Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
